The Book Says

Hangouts chat dings.

Zaphod: May I disconnect breaker 1.8 for about 5 minutes? will it cause any disruption?
Fenchurch: I'm on a conference call.  Can it wait 20 minutes?
Zaphod: Yup. Let me know
Fenchurch: Thank you.  Yes.
Zaphod: I've got some measuring I'm doing at the moment - drawing the third floor.  Figured while I was up here I would put in the GFCI for the deicing cable.
Fenchurch: Ok.
Zaphod: So no rush.

Time passes.

Fenchurch: Everyone is still shouting.  So..... more than 20 minutes.
Zaphod: haha.  No worries, I realized I had never updated the third floor so I'm up here drawing it in
Fenchurch: Ok!  I'm getting up for lunch.
Zaphod: Ok.  I'll be quick anyway.  Just an outlet change.

In real life, on the third floor.

Fenchurch: Whatcha doin'?
Zaphod, looking at two black insulated wires: I don't know which one of these is hot and which is neutral.
Fenchurch: Aren't the wires supposed to be marked so you can tell?
Zaphod: These are knob and tube.  Maybe in a perfect world.  Can you tell any difference?
Fenchurch, enthusiastically: I'm sure there's a way to tell.  I'm pretty sure I read about it in that book.  Hang on let me get it.

In the kitchen, while Fenchurch waits for the microwave.

Fenchurch, reading from Wiring a House, 5th Edition: The oldest wiring that you might see in a house is knob and tube.  The wiring is still legal to use.  The copper wires have a rubber coating and a single-cloth braid -- black for the hot wire and white for the neutral or return (most wire is so old and dirty that both colors look the same).

Pause.

Zaphod: I can figure it out.
Fenchurch: Please don't damage yourself or anything expensive.

Microwave dings.

Queen of Spades - Part 1

Work has been quiet here at the Highlands for a few weeks. The unfortunate events of respiratory illnesses followed by stomach viruses, and now we are in the midst of a a series of snow storms. 

We received a few inches over the weekend, and the local stores were full of anticipation with sales of milk, eggs, bread, water, and various adult beverages to survive the nor'easter due to arrive on Monday. For those not so familiar with the term nor'easter, it is a major snow storm, somewhat akin to a hurricane. It often follows a similar track though the storms rotation is counter clockwise so the wind comes from the northeast, hence the name. This pattern pulls moisture off the Atlantic Ocean and dumps that moisture in the form of snow, lots of snow, not unlike the lake effect snow seen around the Great Lakes. This is why most Mainers have either a plow or a snowblower. 

Monday's storm was forecast to leave about two feet of snow, and snow it did.  All night, all day, and the winds were blowing. School cancelled. I sent Benji-mouse and Frankie out to burn off some steam Benji-mouse was about waist deep in snow, and they lasted a little more than half an hour before coming in for some mulled cider. 

Fenchurch had been faithfully taking Butterface out to use the facilities and it was clear that greyhounds, especially the drama queen of greyhounds, do not like wading shoulder deep through snow. Given Zaphod's sore back and a snowblower temporarily out of commission, Fenchurch shoveled a path around the side door to Butterface's designated "facility" spot. Looking outside I determined that I should take a shift after she came in and I got the kids settled. Still windy and getting colder, I ventured out. 

Trillian:     Do you have cash?

Fenchurch:     Yes, I do have cash.

Trillian:     I am wondering if the neighbor with the snowblower would take a bribe to get the worst of the snow.

Fenchurch:    I've got $50.

A pause in the conversation.

Trillian:     That was a bust. 

Fenchurch:     Was he rude or just no luck? 

Trillian:    I couldn't get past the bank. I waved him down, but he never came over. The snow is easily two Butterface's deep at the end of the driveway. (pauses) We are officially snowed in. 

Fenchurch:    Shovel into the street and let the plow take it away.

Trillian:        What would Jesus do?

Fenchurch:     Walk on it ... he would totally shovel into the street. 

Trillian:     No, wait that was Moses who parted the waters. 

Hmm .... where can I find a Moses?    

Posted by Trillian

The Ghosts of Wallpaper Past

Zaphod told me (Fenchurch) that he had found a box of old wallpaper, and I got excited hoping for peacocks.

Alas, no peacocks.  But some (hideous) boats and plaid, plus stripes of many colors and some little pink flowers.  And lots of textured off-white.

Samples available if anything catches your eye.

Fenchurch responds to Readers

How is Zaphod's bathroom coming along? Is this on 1st or 2nd floor? Does one bathe before they come and then bring their own porta-potti? (Just an idea.)
~~ Flying Eagle

Bathroom privileges?
~~ Anonymous

Dear Flying Eagle and Anonymous,

Work on Fenchurch's bathroom (on the second floor) is temporarily on pause while Zaphod does other things like discovering (more) leaks in the basement, demolishing an old animal pen in a corner of the garage so he now has space to sort bolts and brackets and nails in peace, and contriving a pulley system for his ladder collection.  (I think the second attempt came out rather well; the first was liable to decapitate the unwary.  If at first you don't succeed...)

This leaves Highlands residents with 1 functional shower, 2 functional toilets and 5 functional sinks.  (I will send a congratulatory postcard to anyone who can guess the correct location of each sink.)  There is therefore no need to bring your own potty as all volunteers are permitted (and encouraged!) to use any of the functional facilities and to wash their hands before returning to work.

Sincerely yours,
~~ Fenchurch

Welcome Guests!!

Highlands is ready to receive its first overnight guest. Anyone willing to scrape, screw, scrub or scramble is welcome to sleep on a lovely blue air mattress with blue sheets and a blue blanket on the daring black rug.

(While helping to reassemble the desk re-located from the family room downstairs, Zaphod said "I can't be sure you're not transforming this room back into hideous..." This would be a good time for you to stop talking, Zaphod...)

A Bath for Fenchurch - Part 3: Tub Away

Fenchurch's leaking bathroom had a cast iron tub which was built into an alcove.  It was clearly going to take a great deal of effort to remove it, so Zaphod and Fenchurch opted to remove the shower walls in hopes that they could gain access to the troublesome pipes.

After a great deal of levering and nail pulling, they discovered that the pipes were plastered in on all four sides.  Additionally, an opening in the floor revealed that a couple of joists had been cut away to make room for cast iron waste pipes from the toilet.  Zaphod deemed the tub "structural" - somehow contributing to the support of the surrounding walls since the joists were clearly compromised.

Not only did the leaky pipes need to be identified and repaired, but the joists would need to be strengthened before the bathroom could be reassembled.



First, Zaphod and Fenchurch-Dad set up some supports in the dining room as a precaution.  "You can't support a house on 2 inches of framing," said Zaphod.  Trillian and Fenchurch agreed with him that, in principle, it was a bad idea for anyone or anything to come crashing through the dining room ceiling.

Then Zaphod and Fenchurch-Dad took sledge hammers to the tub and carried it out in buckets.

More floorboards came up revealing a patch work of "fixes" made to the compromised joists, one of which is clearly not attached to anything at one end and can be lifted with no resistance.

And this is the state of Fenchurch's bathroom today while work is ongoing in other areas of the house.

Posted by Fenchurch

A Bath for Fenchurch - Part 2: Carpet, Vinyl, Wood - Oh My

The logical first step in making a functional bath for Fenchurch was to find the source of the leak.

Ripping up ugly carpet can be very satisfying, so Fenchurch decided to share the experience with a friend who came to town to help out around the house.  (Fenchurch clearly knows how to show her guests a good time.)  Zaphod obligingly removed the fixtures (for sale, should you want them) to facilitate the ripping process.

Under the carpet there was a layer of vinyl, and around the tub, a clear plastic floor mat with little spikes, like the ones you see in offices.  Clearly we were not the first ones to notice a leak.

Fenchurch and friend used a heat gun to pull up the vinyl floor.  Fenchurch only "missed" and caused heat bubbling in the paint on a very small section of trim. 

After that, a section of plywood came up.  (Fenchurch was permitted to use a circular saw on the floor.  No one was injured, including the saw.)

Posted by Fenchurch.